emotional stability
i feel like my emotions flip flop a lot and i wish how i could just feel locked in and hyped and focused all the time without using anything of course. but ig that is just part of being human. i feel crazy sometimes but i also remind myself that it is okay. i think being alone recently has kinda hurt me. i dont like being alone so often. it sucks to eat alone on the weekends. i cant tell my parents or sister to not travel of course. and to hang out with me all the time. ig sometimes i just feel lonely. thats okay too. then the burst of energy from feeling hype and locked in, like you can conquer the world. i haven't felt that way in a moment though. in a way it is a drug for my brain. i just feel that way but nothing of substance is actually happening. maybe one day i will have control over the way i feel. but probably not.